Stay in The Clouds
by xLawlietx
Summary: "Stay in the clouds, Butters, and never come down. Trust me." Butters Stotch and Kenny McCormick; a pair of teenagers who seem to live in two different worlds. Against the odds, their lives intertwine and everything seems to turn against them. What happens when you go against everything you know for some blond kid who's out of your league anyway?
1. Chapter 1 BS

**Author's Note that you can probably ignore: ****Wow. Hi! So welcome to my first Bunny (Butters x Kenny) fanfiction! :D It's all finished so I'll be able to update regularly. My other fic is still 'write-as-I-go' and since I'm such a lousy updater (I'm so sorry, it makes me feel so guilty D:) I thought I should finish this one before I posted it so it'd be easier. The story will be five chapters long in total (not including any possible epilogues) and it's the longest fanfiction I've written so far in terms of word length so yeah, I'm really proud of it and hope you'll stick around and enjoy it too! I started this without being a big shipper of Bunny but after getting into writing it I realized OHMYGOSH THEY ARE SO CUTE HOW COULD YOU NOT SHIP IT?! x3**

**Trigger Warning**: Contains mentions of child abuse, swearing, alcohol, tobacco and drug use, violence, brief mentions of sexual activity and of course a gay pairing. I don't think anything is really too severe or explicit though but if you are sensitive to these things, you have been warned.

I do not own South park or any of it's characters, they belong to Matt Stone and Trey Parker. Inspired by the song 'Nikki' by Forever the Sickest Kids, any lyrics used are their property.

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><p>CHAPTER 1<p>

He was the man of every hour

He was a party all alone

He'd give his jacket to a stranger in the cold

She was the beauty queen from Dallas

She could put a lion on a leash

And before he knew himself

She knew the man that he could be

Butters POV

Kenny McCormick. The guy who everyone said was bad news, the guy who I should stay away from, the guy who didn't care about anyone. There were many words that people used to describe him; slut, player, wild, reckless, uncaring, stupid, and worthless. I could add plenty more adjectives to that list but I'm sure you could ask anyone. The thing is, what I've been battling with, is that despite my classmate's reputation being as filthy as a dishrag, I maybe, sort of like him. Okay, fine, I might as well admit it.

I, Leopold Stotch, have a crush on the one person I'm not supposed to look at twice.

Oh gosh, if my parents knew that, they'd almost definitely ground me! I remember when I came out to them as gay just half a year ago I barely saw the light of day for two solid months. Oh jeez… they'd never approve of me dating anybody unless it was a lady. And even they have an opinion of Kenny's family. The McCormicks as a whole are known by the town for being a poor 'white trash' family. It's common knowledge that the mother and father are alcoholics and on welfare and the kids are known to be trouble.

But I know that Kenny is more than that, he isn't just the nobody without a life that everyone seems to see. I had always liked him, I think. I mean I noticed him a long time before now, heck we used to be friends back in elementary school, I even took him to Hawaii with me back when we were ten years old believe it or not! We were just kids then though, so I brushed off whatever it was about him that caused me to favour him over everyone else in class.

But when we entered middle school, whatever scrap of a friendship we had seemed to fade into a awkward acquaintanceship; we didn't talk much, maybe saying one or two sentences to each other. And while it was when we entered high school that I realized my sexuality and attraction to him, by then our interactions had been obliterated and our social circles were already spun in complete opposite directions.

While I achieved straight As on my report card, always did the right thing and just became even more of a goody two shoes then ever while my parents kept a close eye on me, he completely rejected the rules; often disregarding the importance of his attendance at school and failing all of his tests, as if he didn't care at all. He wasn't stupid though, no matter how much everyone, himself included, believed it. I just knew he wasn't, he simply never tried to achieve good results s'all. If he did he'd probably be getting just the same grades on his report card as me.

And, to be honest, it was his misfit rebellious attitude that I loved so much, he was the person I could never dare to be and I admired that about him. Though I'd never admit it, I wished I could not care about the consequences that seem to rule my life, it seemed so much more exciting and by now I am beyond bored with being the perfect son. My parents would ground me if I ever strayed from maintaining my 'flawless' image however. Oh hamburgers, I really don't want that…

No, let's change that train of thought. "Kenny McCormick," the name sounds dangerous and spicy on my tongue but I like it and repeat it several times over; whispering each syllable like it's my own dirty little secret. My breath catches suddenly as a flash of a familiar shade of orange catches my eye from outside the window of my bedroom. I timidly look through the cold glass of the pane and my heart starts fluttering all at once. It's him, he's outside.

I watch as he trudges through the freshly fallen snow, donning his signature beaten-up parka with the hood pulled up over his face and jeans that were so full of holes it was a miracle his legs never got frostbite from the snow that got through to them. All of a sudden he moves his hand up to his face and pushes the hood back onto his shoulders and my chest seems to tighten when the late day's sun lights up his straw coloured shaggy hair that only serves to increase his attractiveness tenfold. I could gaze at him forever but he's headed somewhere else and my house just happens to be on his way.

My eyes trail after him while I hide the rest of my body behind the curtains, petrified of being caught in the act. But that isn't a big enough hindrance for me to not watch as he stops in front of the homeless man who's been camping out by the alleyway that connects the road I live on to an adjacent one leading to the rich part of town. His mouth moves; Kenny's sharing his voice with the stranger with a pitiful life, yet despite his unfortunate lifestyle I can't help but feel just the slightest twang of jealousy. A moment later and Kenny's pulling off his jacket and handing it over, a smile on his face in response to the beggar's look of disbelief at such an offering.

After a few more seconds of the blond holding it with his arm outstretched does the man take it and try it on. It's torn and probably wouldn't sell for a high price anywhere but it looks warm and the homeless man's face is lit up like it's Christmas. I continue to gaze as he tries to reply to Kenny's gift, offering up his last slice of the tiny pizza he had, only to see Kenny shake his head and laugh warmly before waving and walking off back towards his original destination, seemingly oblivious to the snow pelting down upon him and coating his thin grey t-shirt with freezing white. He looks back over his shoulder once before disappearing from sight, to see the jacket's recipient curled up under the scrap of the box and already asleep.

When I can no longer see the back of him I'm pulled back to reality. I notice my breath has fogged up the window by now and I trace a heart into the steam. Blushing at my stupidly innocent act, I spin away from the window and pressed my back against the wall. I don't understand why no one else can see that Kenny is a selfless person. Sure, he doesn't abide by society's rules much, but that didn't change the fact that he had just given his coat to a stranger in the cold as if it was no inconvenience at all. I shrink downwards into a sitting position on the recently vacuumed brown carpet and sigh.

"Kenny McCormick." My lips dance once more around the sound of his name.

I made up my mind; for once in my life I didn't care if no one would take me seriously, or approve of what I longed for, or even if I was rejected mercilessly. I'm going to ask Kenny McCormick out on a date tomorrow. Because to me he is everything I want. He's pure, unappreciated, imperfect perfection~

"Butters!" My mother's voice calls from downstairs, knocking me out of my reverie. I know it's me she's calling; Butters has been my nickname for as long as I can remember and everyone addresses me by it. I'm not quite sure how it stuck, most likely my last name played a role, but it has stuck like bubble gum through the years. I don't even know if my own parents remember my real name any more.

"C-coming Mom," I jump up and head down to find her waiting at the foot of the stairs.

"There's my angel," she smiles at me. It's her usual expression; a forced grin that's too wide to appear natural. She's been wearing it ever since I came out to her and she fell into denial instantaneously, but hey, at least she's still smiling. Even after that 'pray-the-gay-away' camp they sent me too didn't work she kept that grin on her face. "Run on in to the kitchen, dinner will be ready soon and the dishes need to be washed,"

"Well sure mom," I duck around her into our family kitchen; the kitchen I've had all my life, it never fails to make me smile with its smells of yummy food. Dad is sitting at the dining table, reading his daily paper but I can see him watching me out of the corner of my eye.

I start filling the sink with water and sway the bubbles from the washing-up liquid around in a whirlpool, giggling as one manages to fly up and tickle my nose. The first few plates are already up on the rack and drying in minutes so I go to reach for one of the used glass cups on the counter. A bad move.

My hands are slippery and it slides out of my grip before I can do anything. I feel my eyes squeeze tight as the fragile glass makes contact with the unforgiving kitchen floor.

A smash!

A shatter!

A voice filled with fury!

They all fill my ears and force my eyes open only to have them lock with my father's. He's the owner of the voice. "BUTTERS! How dare you?! Don't you have any respect for your mother and I?!" His face, flushed red with rage, seems to be taking up my entire field of vision. I can't focus.

"Butters, how could you do this? You know how hard your parents work to raise you and then…" Mom is standing behind him, her eyes are completely filled with disappointment and that makes me feel awful. Her smile has fallen.

"No Linda, I'll handle this. And then you just throw it all back in our face! Well now you have to deal with spending the night OUTSIDE! That should teach you." He crosses his arms and I know there's no arguing.

"Y-yes sir," I cast my gaze to my feet. Why am I such a disrespectful kid? When god made me he must of done screwed something up because I'm just all wrong. I deserve to sleep outside. Well, I hope it does me good and then I'll learn my lesson! Even though I-I don't really see what I did wrong… My inner monologue is cut short by my mother.

"But Steven, why can't we just ground him? My baby could be eaten by wolves or catch hypothermia!" My mother protests as my father pulls me towards the door and chucks me through the door and into the snow.

"Grounding doesn't seem to be working with him, can't you see Linda? He's out of control! He'll be fine, he can have a blanket." He comforts her and tosses an old fleecy one from when we went camping once out with me. "You can come back when you've learnt how to not be such a disappointment to our family," is the last thing I hear before he loudly slams the door.

I wrap it around myself, it's a poor substitute for my jacket but at least it's something, and head over to my favourite place in the world. Hopefully I can spend the night there.


	2. Chapter 2 KM

**AN: I hope you're enjoying it so far :) You can always leave a review if you wish and let me know what you think as I really appreciate any feedback, whether constructive criticism or just your thoughts. Okay, on with the show~**

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><p>CHAPTER 2<p>

She was an Angel craving chaos

He was a demon seeking peace

But they were each other's

toxic cure called codependency

Kenny POV

"So… we finished here?" the bed groans under me as I pull myself into a sitting position on the bed, cigarette already dangling between my lips. A flame dances to life as sparks fly on the end of my lighter, illuminating the room. The light bounces off of the walls that were long ago flushed with deep pink but have since faded to a dull mauve over time, a memory of a girl's long forgotten childhood innocence.

Red just says something incomprehensible in response and rolls over onto her side, facing away from me. I stand up, taking the hint, and make my way over to her bathroom. Following the already-dimming embers of the cigarette, I pick my way over the empty beer bottles and clothing strewn around the carpet; recent decorations left from only a few hours prior to now. The bathroom tiles feel cold against my feet, sucking out whatever warmth they previously held.

I flick the switch only to have my eyeballs seared by the sudden intensity of the bulb as it blinks to life. A mirror stands right before me and I involuntarily find myself staring into my reflection. The lighting doesn't exactly work wonders for my looks; my pale skin seems washed out which only serves to strengthen the contrast of the dark shadows hanging beneath my bloodshot eyes. My naked body is far too skinny and, without clothes to hide under, my bones seem to protrude now more than ever; food is a luxury when you're from the ghetto part of town.

I toss the burnt out cigarette and turn the stiff taps on, flooding my cupped hands with water, and I splash it on myself. When the liquid hits my skin I gasp; it's cool and refreshing so I run it through my knotted blond hair as well, where just less than an hour ago Red's fingers were clinging to in superficial ecstasy. When I'm done wiping off the remaining droplets with an ever-so-soft towel that (would probably cost me an arm and a leg if I myself wished to possess something like it) I turn back up to face the mirror once more. But the reflection hasn't changed, as reliably merciless as ever: I'm still me.

I sigh, sucking the second-hand smoke I left behind deep into my lungs and after a few drawn out seconds, I let it go, ridding myself of the toxicity. Turning off the light I'm plunged back into the shadows of Red's bedroom once more and my eyes need another second to readjust.

She's sleeping now, or at least pretending to sleep; the rising and fallings of her chest as she takes each breath are too quick in succession to truly fool me. Even still, I remain as quiet as possible while I retrieve my discarded clothing and redress myself, nimble and quick because I don't want to stay here any longer: I'm not wanted. The door creaks shut as I let myself out.

The sub-zero temperature penetrates me to my core as I walk out into the dusk. I try to ignore it as the wind's chill hits sharp against me, the scrap of a t-shirt I have on does nothing to barricade me from its unyielding force and I can feel the absence of my parka more than ever. It would be of more use to the man I gave it to earlier than to me though, I'm glad he has it now. He deserves it, I don't. It only makes sense. With that in my mind, I start heading forwards through the arctic night, I have weathered worse after all.

I don't look back at Red's house as I walk; I'm not good company, and she's fulfilled her purpose with me. That's all they use me for; my body. Boys and girls alike, it's all I'm good for I guess, so I oblige with a grin on my face at every request, they never notice that my eyes tell another story.

That's all they see me as, someone to sleep with. Other than that no one would associate with me, except Stan, Kyle and Cartman who I've been friends with as long as I can remember, but even then I don't think they truly give a shit about me. Why would I mind? I'm a no-good loser who sleeps around, I'm the scum of South Park. And they all know.

Sure, it's got its moments when there's no expectations, but is this all I'll ever be? Just the irritating piece of gum stuck on everyone's shoe? Sometimes- sometimes I wish that someone could show me peace. An angel come to save me from my burdens. That's a nice dream, but when I really think about it, why would an angel waste their time on some hell-bound demon by the likes of me?

I eventually arrive at the tumble-down shack my family calls a house. The lights are on though so at least Mom found the money to pay the electricity bill, probably out of our welfare checks again, but I'd rather ignore that little detail. When I get closer to the door though, whatever mental victory the electricity brought is quickly lost over the sounds of shouting coming from within the papery thin walls, at least the words are slightly muffled so the neighbours can't make them out. That's me, always the optimist.

I push the front door open, finding it unlocked and step inside. The indescribable reek is what first hits me, the scent a mixed concoction of alcohol fumes, cigarette smoke, rat urine, and stale body odour. Without my parka covering my nose and after inhaling Red's ungodly pricy yet trashy perfume I seem to have lost any resistance I've built up, the stench of the house is new to my nostrils once more. It's good to be home...

I follow the screams into the kitchen and my eyes drink in the scene. Stewart, my father, is yelling at my elder brother, Kevin. Mom is in the corner gulping down endless bottles of beer despite obviously having reached her limit long ago, and Karen, my little sister is crying as she watches on helplessly. Nothing new. Nothing's changed during my absence today, not that it ever will, nor do I expect as much.

"You lousy piece of shit!" Stewart yells, his voice increasing in volume as his eyes flare at his son, "Do you have no respect for your parents?!"

"You don't deserve any of my money Pa'! You're just a washed up deadbeat of a father! I never should've come back here to visit you, your just a pathetic asshole!" my brother retaliates, pitch matching his. It's a near deafening experience of livid redneck accents.

Stewart's glare intensifies and his neck begins to turn a foreboding shade of red, this is never a good sign. "WHAT DID YOU CALL ME YOU UNGRATEFUL BASTARD?!" he retorts before smashing one of the many beer bottles littering the kitchen counter. The jagged shards of glass are sent flying in all directions, narrowly missing mom and Karen, as the end of the bottle shatters. He now holds the top of bottle tensely, pointing it out at Kevin. "I brought you into this world, and by god I can take you out," he says, eyes gleaming with aggression, his voice gone frighteningly calm. This is bad, really bad. I need to do something fast before he hurts anyone.

"Stop, both of you, somebody's gonna get hurt!" I intervene quickly. Stewart looks at me, as if just now realizing my presence.

He just smirks wickedly and swaggers over to me, invading my personal space far more than necessary. I can smell that he's been drinking heavily which would definitely explain a few things. His matted brown hair hangs in front of his tinged red, wild eyes but these are just components of his whole face that is now twisted with misplaced, seething anger. "Did you say somethin' punk?" he whispers, and pushes me against the wall, pressing the sharp edges of the broken bottle against my neck and drawing the slightest trickle of blood as it slices above my collarbone. I can hear Karen gasp in the corner, her tears flowing harder than ever.

I'm not scared of him though. This monster, this beast, who thinks he has the right to run my life isn't worth the dirt under my shoes in reality. I spit in his face. "I said somebody's gonna get hurt," I tell him and before his stupid little brain has time to react I knee him in the groin. He groans in pain, drops the weapon to the floor, and clutches the vulnerability, doubling over. I know to take this opportunity to escape and run out the door, leaving my family in my wake. I'll find somewhere else to stay the night.

I place an apple I picked up earlier from Red's kitchen on Karen's bed before I open the front door, I know she won't be fed otherwise whilst our parents are in this state and she'd be too afraid to try and go elsewhere or steal for herself.

But as I make my way out I hear my father call out after me, "You think you're better than me? Ha, you and me are the same kid, you're just like me," and I wish those words had no effect on me, but they shamefully do. They send a stinging sensation to my heart and my head hurts. I want to get away so I start running. I don't stop until I'm exhausted and whatever muscles I have built up on such a poor diet cry out for a rest.

I pull out the small flask of stolen whisky I keep in my back pocket and take a swig, letting the liquid burn my throat and drown my thoughts. I'm not my father, I'll never be!' I repeat over and over in my head until it sounds like some slurred religious chant, but that doesn't let me hide from the truth for very long. When the container is empty I chuck it into the dirt and try to figure out where I am

Looking around, I see I'm at Stark's pond. The place I haven't come to in years. And I have to admit that I'm glad to see it hasn't changed. The water is still and dark in the night, making it impossible to gauge its depth. Above it, the pale round moon hangs alone in the sky, casting shadows on the surrounding woods and making the trees look like ghosts looming over the lake. Ever watchful of the waters. This is a good place to spend the night.

There's already a shadowy form on the bench, a homeless person most likely as South Park is littered with them, so I decide to lay down upon the bank instead. A mound of soft moss making a surprisingly comfortable pillow compared to the one I'm used to back home.

With my head clouded with alcohol, my eyelids grow heavy and I fall asleep within minutes. And before I know it, I'm transported to a dreamland.

_I don't know where I am, but I feel lost and alone. It's dark, so very dark. Everywhere I look I only see black._

_But I'm not alone. I can see other people now, far in the distance. They're running towards me and it takes a few seconds for me to make out their faces. I know these people who are hurtling at me with impossible speeds. My father, Kevin, Karen, my school principal, Red, and my friends too; Stan, Kyle and Cartman are also among those closing in._

_But something isn't right about them and I feel an unpleasant sensation settle into the pit of my gut. They- they don't look right and this become clearer the closer they get. My heart starts beating hard in my chest as I discover their eyes aren't really there, in their place are dark hollow circles, as if they were painted on like dolls._

_The horror sets in as I realize their movements aren't human either. Their limbs are moving jaggedly, as if controlled like puppets, arms outstretched towards me. And they seem to be getting faster and faster. Finally my adrenaline kicks in and I run._

_I run and run as fast as I can in the opposite direction. I want, no I need, to get away from these monsters who've infested the people I know. But they're closing in from behind and all there is in front of me is nothingness. My feet seemed to become further weighed down with each step until my legs buckle completely beneath me._

_My father catches me first, followed by the rest close behind. I scream and fight and cry; anything to fend them off. But it's no use, I can't see any point of trying anymore. So I let them engulf me into the darkness with them, drowning everything into the black._

_But out of nowhere I'm blinded by such a pure light that it chases all the shadows away. The monsters recoil back from me and leave me alone once more. I can't see, it's too bright, but I feel myself being lifted up gently. "It's alright now, you're safe" a soothing voice tells me. I try to block the light with my hands and manage to pry my eyes open._

_It's an angel. An angel of the light. I try to say something but the words feel thick in my throat. The angel smiles, "Shhh, go back to sleep,"_

_Sleep? Is this a dream? But it feels so real… What do you mean?_

_The angel just smiles and pulls me closer to him, wrapping the soft feather wings around us both. It's warm and safe. I feel liberated._

I open my eyes, and the Sunday morning sun shines straight down into them. I jolt upright, the dream still fresh in my mind, and realize that I'm covered in a blanket that I've never seen before; it smells of cocoa and marshmallows; a comforting scent. Despite this I shake it off and look around to see where it might have come from.

The scenery is so much more vibrant and alive now that the sun is up. The lake reflects the blue of the sky but it isn't still anymore and small waves are lapping at the shore. 'Plop!' a rock flies into the water, sinking immediately and causing far-reaching ripples that bring on a new slew of waves at the disturbance.

My gaze traces back to the rocks source to see someone crouched down, back facing me, about to hurl another stone into the water and make it skip. I watch as the male with white-blond hair sighs in disappointment as the rock once again makes a splash and sinks. "Hey!" I call out to him. The surprise of my voice seems to send an electric shock through the mystery person and he nearly topples down into the freezing water. Managing to regain his balance, he looks back over at me, and startled eyes as blue as the lake stare back at me. Is that… "Butters?"

"Oh um, hey Kenny. You-you're awake," Butters stammers, racking his knuckles against themselves in his habit of nervousness he's had instilled since he was young.

"Looks like it," I relax and run a hand through my messy hair, a pounding headache beginning to set in from last night. "So this is your blanket?"

"Huh? Oh, yes, I-I guess so," he looks away, blushing slightly. I can't even remember the last time I spoke to Butters but he doesn't seem to have changed much. "I- I come down here a lot, and when I found you as-asleep I thought you'd need something to keep you warm is all," he shrugs.

"Well, thanks. You didn't have to do that for me, no one would really care if I got hypothermia anyway," I laugh but he seems stricken by the words.

"Oh p-please don't say that," he whispers so quietly I can barely make it out. "Um, there's- there's actually something I want to ask you Ken," Butters bites his lip. I look at him perplexed. What would someone as good natured as Butters want to ask some lowlife like me? I'm not exactly interesting.

The boy says something, but he mumbles it so I can't understand. "I'm sorry?" I raise an eyebrow apologetically, "Can you repeat that?"

"Would you maybe want to go on a date with me?" he looks up at me, searching my face for a response.

"You want to go on a date with me?" I ask, genuinely confused. What is this? A joke?

"I do," his face grows redder.

"Um sure Butters, I'd like that," it's not like I have anything to lose, and this was a pleasant surprise after the events from yesterday. But I couldn't understand why he'd choose me if he was serious. Despite this, his face pulls into one of the happiest smiles I've ever seen, not that I've seen too many genuine ones.

Sure. I'll go on a date with Butters, I need a break and this is just what I need. "What did you have in mind?"


	3. Chapter 3 KM

**AN: Chapter three already? Well I hope you enjoy it, and leave your thoughts in a review if you like as I like reading them :3**

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><p>CHAPTER 3<p>

It's never that easy

It never seems right

When careful meets carefree

And in just 4 minutes they knew each other for life

Kenny POV

"Here we are, a hot chocolate and cappuccino," an impossibly smiley waitress places the drinks on the booth Butters and I are occupying, "Can I get you two dears anything else?" she asks in an overly sugary singsong voice. Her forced happiness is irritating to me.

"No, but thank you ever so much," Butters declines with a politeness I don't think I could ever muster.

I glance around the place Butters decided to take me for our date; the Tweak Bros. coffee shop. He and Tweek are pretty close friends, or so I've heard. Ever since middle school I've kind of lost track of Butters social life since my own life was collapsing in on itself. I feel guilty, I shouldn't have let a bond with someone as nice as Butters fall apart, he was a great person.

It's a humble yet authentic little place. The smell of caffeine has attached itself to everything in the vicinity, and the whirring of the grinder resonates on all the wooden walls. You can hear the light-hearted banter between costumers as they slurp their orders and every once in a while there's an irritated burst of noise from behind the storage doors that is undoubtedly Tweak Tweek having a mini panic attack as he probably deals with figuring where to put things away. This place is real, not trying to be something it isn't. I like that.

I watch as Butters fiddles with the hems of his pale-blue shirt. When he doesn't say anything I reach down for my cappuccino. I originally was content with just drinking water but he insisted I get something he could pay for, since he asked me out he figured he should have to pay for everything despite my pleas against it. Even if I only had eighty-four cents to my name I could still steal enough to pay for at least half, the man sitting at my right seemed like he could spare a few dollars from his leather wallet…

The smooth brown mixture is incredibly hot as it seeps between my lips and onto my tongue. It's a good roasted blend honestly and I gulp it down quickly, letting the warmth fill my stomach. When I place the mug back on the coaster I lock eyes with my date. I smile to myself, he's a pretty cute kid, with his neatly brushed hair that shines many shade lighter than my own and innocent blue eyes that are so open yet guarded at the same time, if that makes sense. It's been so long since I've hung out with him, since I've even seen him, but he obviously hadn't forgotten about me. I wonder how he's been doing.

"Wh-what are you thinkin' about?" the soft southern twang of his voice through the stutter snaps me out of my reverie. I blink at the question before leaning back on my chair.

"How you haven't changed one bit over the years," I admit casually taking another sip of my coffee, I've never been known as a very secretive person. Ask and you shall receive and what not.

He looks up at me like a deer in the headlights. "Is- Is that a good thing?" his voice seeking approval.

"Yeah, I think it's a good thing," I wink in my usual flirtatious tone. He sighs relieved and begins his habit of rubbing his knuckles again. He's not very good at feigning confidence, but I find his poorly concealed jitteriness fittingly adorable for him.

"Well gee, that's good," he stares back down into the steaming chocolate drink sitting before him.

"You should relax, I won't bite you or anything," I verbalize my thoughts aloud without thinking, but he doesn't seem to feel any pressure from them and his shoulders almost instantly fall down from their hunched position that neither of us had noticed they were in prior to now.

"S-Sorry 'bout that, I'm just a little shy is all," another blush spreads across the features of his petite pale face. I swear, everything he does resonates sweetness if that's humanly possible.

"Yeah, I've noticed," I mentally smack the back of my head, I really need to learn how to think before I speak, "you seem like you're pretty tensed up,"

The blond looks out the window beside us, resting his cheek against the frosted over glass, "Well, a-actually I'm s'pposed to be grounded right now," his eyes dart around, analysing each snowflake as it hits the window pane and melts into nothingness.

"Grounded? Shit! Then why are you out here with me?" even though Butters had faded into the background of whatever pathetic life I was leading, even I still knew that his parents weren't the most forgiving of his errors; that's why he strived so hard in school to be the best. It was common knowledge in South Park.

"I- I was grounded but then I did something awful bad and Dad kicked me out for the night, He told me not to come back until I learned how to not be such a disappointment to our family," he quoted, and I had to put effort into not letting my mouth hang open. I knew they were strict but kicking out your own son? Even my parents, as terrible failures of role models as they were, had never done that. Sure, I myself had slept outside last night, but they had never forced me out; I chose to leave. Knowing Butters whatever he had done probably wasn't even big!

"Man, you're parents are such tight-asses, seriously, they shouldn't be allowed to treat you like that," I shake my head but Butters is quick to defend them for some reason I can't fathom I'd ever truly understand.

"My folks aren't that bad, really! My- my dad hasn't even beat me for a year now," he tells me like it's some sort of vindication. I think his mother and father meddle in his life to much and he shouldn't let them, I wish I could free him from that kind of tyranny somehow. He deserves better, yet he remains so optimistic, that's pretty inspiring if you ask me.

"Hey promise me something"

He looks at me, eyes eager to please yet they retain their permanent guard.

"Stay in the clouds, Butters, and never come down. Trust me," He tilts his head in the same way a confused puppy would.

In that moment a thought makes is way to the front of my mind and sticks. 'Just what the hell am I doing here?' it asks me and I simply don't know how to answer it.

My gaze skims over Butters once more. I see a boy who looks put together despite his overt timidness. I see someone good natured and bright, who has a great future already paved straight ahead for him. He's the kind of boy who's kind and thoughtful, careful and safe, unique and special. The kind of person who deserves someone that is perfect because only then will they find someone who lives up to their level.

I don't know why this boy would want with a wreck like me. Butters and I are polar opposites in our worth as human life.

I fiddle with the cup sat in front of me. My source of caffeine has long since been drunk by now and at the bottom of the empty cup drained of cappuccino, my reflection stares back at me. Now I see another boy, but this one looks like he hasn't slept in days, like he doesn't have the means to take care of himself like any normal person. This boy looks like the kind of person you would cross the road to avoid walking past or the kind of person you wouldn't take home to meet your parents because anyone can see he's one of the hopeless rejects. He probably doesn't do well in school if he hasn't already dropped out, probably does things that aren't legal with his mates, and probably doesn't give a crap about whether he lives or dies because you can tell just from looking at this boy that he's worthless.

"Butters?" I speak up, keeping my eyes locked on this sad, sad kid looking back from the bottom of the cup, "Why are you wasting your time with me?"

"What do you mean?" he says but I know he's lying. He knows exactly what I mean, so I just raise an eyebrow at him. He's looking down at his hands again, how his knuckles not bleeding from the friction at this point, I'll never know. "Honestly, I- I- I have a crush on you! I think you're an amazing person despite what everyone else says and thinks!" He's squeezes his eyes shut tight in clear embarrassment shut and the words tumble out so quickly I almost don't catch them. But I do, and they make me smile and I chuckle a little. At the sound of that he opens his eyes again, once more revealing their stunning blue colour. "So, what do you think?" And I notice he doesn't stutter for the first time since this morning.

"I think you're insane," I shake my head but my smile won't leave. "But I'm a little crazy too, so I'll give this a try,"

"W-What do you mean?" He looks at me with a look that spells confusion and slight worry. Maybe he and Tweek bonded over their apparent anxiety.

"I mean I'll be your boyfriend if you'll be mine," I explain slowly and I swear the smile on his face in response to that could light up the entire town. He has a lovely smile, one of the few genuine ones I've seen in the last few years. And it's directed at me, which only causes myself to mirror one back at him.

It's one of the times when you feel like you've known the other person for your whole life.


	4. Chapter 4 BS

**AN: Only one more chapter to go now! Thank you for all the favourites, follows and reviews so far. I'm really glad you guys are enjoying this :3 And as always, you're always welcome to leave any thoughts in the review box~**

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><p>CHAPTER 4<p>

Alright Nikki, it's alright Baby tonight

you can let your hair down

Alright Nikki, it's alright Baby tonight

You can take a breath now

If you only live once

Stay in the clouds

Never come down

Trust me

Butters POV

After that first date the weeks seem to fly in a blur. I came out of my comfort zone, even took my first underage sip of alcohol. I ended up taking a little more of a sip, found out I couldn't handle it and had to be carried out of the venue but it was a rush and I'd definitely do it again, because for the few hours I was drunk, I didn't have a care in the world. Kenny warned me off of it though; he didn't want his influence to get me addicted.

Despite his general carefreeness of me consuming a reasonable amount of alcohol, he didn't let me touch a single cigarette, much less smoke one. They were a nasty habit, he told me, he wished he had never become so dependent on the nicotine and for a split second his beautiful blue eyes had flashed with some foreign and unreadable emotion. I stuck by his warning and never dared breath near him while he was lighting one up.

He only smoked tobacco though, despite the rumours that floated around the school he hadn't touched illegal drugs in almost a year now. It was his parents who were the addicts brewing and growing all sorts of nasty things in his family's torn down garage.

The first time he took me to his house is a memory that I still feel could have happened yesterday rather than a fortnight ago. I wasn't shocked at his living conditions, I'd seen his house before plenty of times and it still hadn't changed since we were children other than the increased wearing of the walls and what little furniture they possessed. Rats were still rampant, too intelligent for the cheap rat traps scattered about, and broken glass was littered within the low-grade carpet fibres but I could handle that. Kenny was amazed when I didn't flinch at the stench of the building and I just grinned in response.

His parents were ever so sweet to me, greeting me and offering to make me a pop tart to which I politely declined. Kenny just stayed as silent during the interaction. When I asked him about it he just mumbled, "They're not always like this," he whispered in my ear when they had turned their backs, "just wait 'til they're drunk, you'll see their true colours,". It hadn't taken long before he escaped with me into his bedroom, where his old posters of scantily clad women were gradually peeling off of the walls. When my eyes skimmed over their curvy, feminine figures I couldn't help but blush with jealousy. Maybe I wasn't good enough for Kenny, after all, I could never live up to the playboy bunnies.

The blond teenager had noticed me shift as I tore my eyes from the images of perfection I could never match to satisfy him. "They're just stupid old things," he had told me quickly, "'Been meaning to take 'em down. They're nowhere near as attractive as you," he leaned back on his hard, bare, mattress he called a bed, carefully watching my reaction.

"R-really?" I could feel my face grow hotter but this time the driving force was something less superficial, something positive.

"Would I lie to you? Now get down here!" He reached up at me and within seconds he had pulled us both back down onto the bed, both laughing with bliss. The bed's springs poked at our bodies but neither of us seemed to mind.

When the laughter died down we had locked eyes for what felt like forever. He smiled that same crooked smile that just makes me want him more and more every time he flashes it. "You're too good for me you know?" he had said and before I could respond he'd mashed his lips against mine.

Our first kiss was just as perfect as I'd imagined it would be, if not more. As our lips moulded together it felt like all the goodness of the world had poured into my body and filled up my soul. I didn't want it to end but, like most things, it had to and we eventually broke apart, coming up for air.

Kenny was so handsome, he was so amazing, he was so _mine_. "It's late, let's get some rest," he whispered in my ear.

His parents had begun having a loud argument in some other room of the house but Kenny drowned it out with a lullaby, stroking my baby-duck blond (his description, not mine) hair. I had felt so happy in that moment; when I fell asleep curled up in Kenny's arms. It was truly a perfect night.

The next event we faced as a couple wasn't nearly as pleasant; when I finally worked up the nerve to bring Kenny to my house while my parents were home. I had told them I was having a sleep over with some made up female friend when I had gone to Kenny's house, they didn't even know I was in a relationship. I had planned on just introducing Kenny as a friend but they had unravelled the truth fairly quickly. And it all went downhill from there.

"Get out of here until you've learned to stop defying god!" my father had yelled, putting on the 'pure catholic' act he always saved just for these moments but never seemed to have during Christmas or Lent or any other religious time period. I could barely make out my mother's wails of "My son can't be a queer," over her crying but the message was clear. Kenny and I weren't welcome.

It hurt me; visibly distressing my parents. I was never used to making them mad, I mean they were mad at me a lot but I never provoked them on purpose. When my dad went to reach for his belt Kenny and I knew to get out of there.

I don't remember how we left, whether it was me dragging Kenny or Kenny pulling me out, but all I knew was we had gotten outside and left them behind.

"You can stay with me tonight," Kenny told me firmly when we had put quite a distance between us and my parent's house.

"No it's okay, I- I don't mean to be a burden,"

Kenny just pulled me aside and looked me dead in the eyes. "Butters, I am not letting you go back there if it means you're going to be abused again,"

I don't know what it was; whether it was the aftershock of what had just happened or the concerned, caring look in Kenny's eyes but in that moment I burst out crying and couldn't stop. Kenny didn't say anything, he just pulled me into a hug where it was warm and safe and smelled of him.

I couldn't control myself, I thought I was broken as the tears just streamed out endlessly. I opened the floodgates of my emotions and now they wouldn't stop gushing out. I cursed and shouted and cried at everything that made me who I was; my school, my church, but mostly my parents. I couldn't take it anymore and Kenny just silently hugged me, stroking my hair as we stood in the cold. I don't know how long we'd been standing there like that but we continued even long after my emotional outburst had ended.

He began singing that same lullaby he sung when I'd spent the night at his house and the last of my tears dried up. "Sorry for staining your new parka," I mumbled into his chest and he just chuckled.

"Don't be, I'm glad you let that all out, and besides I wouldn't have it if you hadn't bought it" he said with such a quiet soothing voice that I could hardly believe it was still Kenny.

I sniffed, "Thank you," not that those words could convey how grateful I was of his presence right now. I'd never lost the plot like that before but it felt liberating. I felt freed.

He ruffled my hair and we headed back to his house. He kept his arm around me the entire walk back, a simple gesture that meant more to me than anything. I wanted to stay like that forever.

After that day it felt like a huge weight had been lifted up off of my shoulders and I found myself beginning to not worrying about being perfect as much. I didn't need to please everyone anymore because I realized I only cared about Kenny's opinion of me. I still worked hard at school and was still my goody-two-shoes self; that would never change, but I felt like I could finally relax.

I think I was a good influence on Kenny too. He began to show up to school more often and his grades even began improving ever so slightly. He still ditched once a week and hung out and smoked with his same old friends but that was okay too, because I wouldn't want Kenny to change for me. He was perfect just the way he was, although I did worry every now and again.

Things were going so well for us, we were indestructible, and nothing could touch us or harm us. Because we had each other.

At least, that's what I thought until the fight.


	5. Chapter 5 BS

CHAPTER 5

He tried to dig his way out of a coffin

'cause she smothered him with care

Before they lived in castles

They were dying on a prayer

Butters POV

I don't know how I was the last to hear about it, word spreads fast when violence is concerned especially in a school as small as mine. But by the time Pete Melman had come running through the hallways in my directions screaming about a fight involving Kenny I knew I had to get to it fast.

I ran through the school and shot out through the doors but by the time I had arrived at the scene it was too late. There was a big circle of people gathered to watch and my below average stature meant that I couldn't see past them. It wasn't difficult for my small frame to duck between the bodies of onlookers who were egging the two on further but when I finally reached the inner edge of the crowd it was hard to take it all in.

The fight had already begun several minutes before and by then Kenny and his opponent, who I could then see was Craig Tucker, were both already bloody, bruised and panting for breath. They weren't finished yet though; Kenny was yelling something at Craig, revealing that the lips I loved so much were stained brown with blood from an unidentifiable source, his front tooth looked chipped from this angle.

I couldn't make out what the words were over the sickening cheers from the crowd but from the look in his eyes I could tell he was beyond furious. I'd never seen Kenny look so angry, it was terrifying even if it wasn't directed at me.

I tried to run in, to stop this madness, but I was held back by Tweek. "If- If you go in there, you-you'll get hurt real bad, gah!" his anxiety was in full effect. I tried to ignore him but his grip was too strong despite his twitching, so I was forced to watch it all unfold from the sidelines.

Craig didn't seem to react to Kenny's taunts at first, his signature poker face never faltered but he calmly raised his hand and flipped my boyfriend off. That was enough to send Kenny flying at his face but the tall, lithe noirette was quick and jabbed him in the stomach. The blond retched backwards but within seconds he had bounced back and swung again at Craig's face, landing a solid knuckle-cracking hit this time around.

The seemingly insatiable crowd gasped as Craig spat out a tooth into the gravel. Kenny attacked again, impulsivity never waning, this time lunging for Craig's side but he was already waiting. I watched in horror as the stoic Craig wrapped his foot around Kenny's leg and knocked him clear off balance.

Before he had a chance of reacting he was sent hurtling backwards onto the gravel. Things seemed to slow down as I watched his head make contact with the floor helplessly. Each droplet of blood flew out of his mouth in slow motion and before I knew it he was no longer moving, dark red liquid pooling around his face.

"Kenny!" I finally found my voice, "KENNY!" I screamed louder. Craig turned around and walked off, glaring at the crowds and flipping everyone off as they dispersed awkwardly. Tweek finally released me and I nearly fell over my own feet as I ran towards my boyfriend who had been left lying alone.

I knelt down beside him and cradled his limp head in my hands. "Kenny? Please!"

He creaked his blue eyes open and when they met mine he flashed that smirk again, although it looked different when his mouth was caked in red ooze. "Oh, hey Butters,"

"Don't just hey Butters me, what do you think this is?!"

He lifted his arm up and moved his thumb over my cheek, catching a tear. But I couldn't help wince at how his movements looked pained. "Please don't cry over me Butters, I'm fine," he flicks the droplet off his thumb. I didn't even realise I was crying.

"Liar. The nurse is on her way," I said to him hurriedly. At least I hoped she was. I thought I saw Kyle go after her. Who knew where his other friends were.

"That's really not necessary, I've been in worse fights than this,"

"Idiot. That's not helping,"

He chuckled at that. "No, I guess it isn't,"

It turns out he did need medical attention, more than the school nurse could offer. I stayed by his side until the ambulance appeared but they carted him off to hospital and told me I wouldn't be able to visit until tomorrow.

And here I am. It's the next day after the fight and I've skipped school for the first time ever. But I have to see Kenny and visiting hours begin during school, so I see it as justifiable.

The nurses must think I'm mentally unstable as I habitually rub my knuckles repeatedly while sitting in the waiting room chairs in anticipation. One of them keeps walking past every few minutes just to "subtly" check I'm still at it. But I don't care about her, or anyone right now. I just need to see Kenny.

The seconds seemed to tick by so slowly as I watch the clock tick closer and closer to eleven, closer and closer to when I can finally see my boyfriend again. The moment the minute hand strikes twelve I spring up out of the uncomfortable chair and make my way over to the lady behind the desk.

Her hair is greying and although she's plastered a smile on her face, her eyes give away her obvious impatience with teenagers. Just like every other adult in this building it would appear. "Um I- I was wondering where I would go to visit my friend?"

"Name?" She asks tiredly.

"Um Mine or his?"

She sighs and looks up at me over her spectacles. "His, love"

"Oh um, Kenneth McCormick?" I don't know why I phrase it like a question.

She quickly runs her fingers over her keyboard, inputting his name. It feels like forever before her screen display loads. "Ah yes, he's in room 3A," she looks back at me from the screen expectantly.

"And how do I get there?" I feel extremely dumb standing here, like I should know every which way of the building.

"Through those doors, down the hall and fifth door on your right," she states as if it were obvious before turning back to her computer and busying herself with non-existent work, clearly done with me. Without needing to be told twice I make my way down the corridor she gestured towards.

It's narrow and smells of disinfectant. I hate the smell of hospitals, it stings at your nose and fills your lungs until you feel lightheaded and dizzy. I'd take the smell of Kenny's house over a hospital any day.

In fact, I just don't like hospitals in general. They feel so sterile and abnormally immaculate. The floors are always so pristine and the walls are all painted a numbing shade of white. It's like it's desperately trying to cover its secrets up and hide them away. You wouldn't expect a building like this to house bloody organ operations or debilitating injuries or corpses. Bleh, just the thought of the types of things that could be hidden under the surface rubs me the wrong way.

That's what I don't like about hospitals. You only see what it wants you to see. And that's just like lying and lying's no good.

Kenny's room's door is closed tight when I reach it. I hesitate, can I just go in? I timidly reach for the handle and gently press open the door slowly, a warning in case he's changing or doing something indecent that he'd rather I not see.

"Hello?" I hear his voice resonate and I pop my head around the door in response. "Oh, you came," he smiles.

I stay silent as the door clicks shut behind me and walk over towards him. He's lying in bed, huddled up under the sheets. The bruises have set in around his face, splotching his complexion with ugly dark red patches. His lips are scabbing up and his left eye is swollen. "Shouldn't you be at school?"

"You don't look awful great Ken," I dodge the question but he just smiles knowingly amused and goes alone with it.

"No shit numbnut,"

"Well wh-what did the doctors say?"

"Just some internal bleeding, I tried telling them I can just walk it off but they're making me stay here a few more days," he shrugs under the covers. "I hate it here, the doctors are such smart asses and the nurses aren't even busty!"

"Well even still you should probably just listen to them; you need to stay here and heal up alright?" I sit down by his feet and almost flinch as the bed squeaks beneath me.

"Yeah, yeah," he grins devilishly.

"Well this is what you get for playing Mortal Kombat in real life," It was one of the games he'd introduced me to back when we were kids, I loved it so much until my parents found out how violent it was and grounded me.

"I don't know what came over me. Hell, I can't even remember how it started!"

"May-maybe you should go to anger management classes?"

"Fuck off," he says before reconsidering his words, "Hm, maybe I do need anger management huh?" I know he's joking and somehow we both end up laughing. It's short lived though, like most good things I've learnt, and he sighs, "I guess I really can't escape from being like my father…," he murmurs, as if talking to himself.

"You're wrong,"

"What?"

"I said you're wrong," I look him straight in the eye. "You're nothing like your father; you're so much more thoughtful and kind and you would never hurt those close to you. I think that makes you really great," I shyly move my hand up onto his larger stronger one. It's warm and comforting.

"Thanks," he smiles warmly and links our fingers together.

We stay in silence for a few minutes, just looking at each other. It feels almost peaceful despite the worry I had just put myself through before I could see him.

"Oh, I- I brought you somethin'" I finally break it and reach into the small bag I brought to pull out my gift.

"Oh yeah? Let's see!" Kenny leans forward despite wincing at the effort of moving.

"It- it's nothing really. Just a dumb drawing I did," Darn it! I can feel the blush seeping across my cheeks already as I hand over the gifted page. "It's just a little doodle of us in an aeroplane, see you're the pilot. I'm sorry I'm not very good at drawing,"

"What are you talking about? You're amazing, I love it." He grins as he looks up from it at me and clutches it to his chest. "It… it reminds me of something familiar you did when we were younger,"

"What- what do you mean?" Dang, and I thought this was an original idea too.

"Huh? Oh nothing, I just love it. Thank you," He reaches out to me and I half lean half hover down beside him, not wanting to put pressure on his wounds. Even so he wraps his bandaged arms around me.

We stay like that for a while and I'm nearly falling asleep from his warmth when I hear him murmur something into my hair. "I didn't, I didn't catch that," I tell him.

He breathes out. "I love you Butters,"

Did I hear that right? I sit up slightly and look at him in the eyes. They're honest and open. And they're full of love. And so am I so I tell him. "I love you too Ken," and with that it's my turn to kiss him.

His lips are cracked and taste salty but I don't care. I deepen the kiss and his tongue still tastes the same, it still tastes like Kenny. He instantly melds into me in response, although I can tell he's a little surprised, and moves his hands up into the tangled clumps of my hair. I don't want anything but Kenny right now, and I realize I only feel complete with him.

The door swings open, startling us and ruining the moment. One of the nurses walks in carrying a tray but when she catches sight of me on top of her patient her cheeks redden and quickly gathers up her things. "Oh! I'm sorry for interrupting," she averts her eyes, "Here's your breakfast Kenneth, I'll come back in an hour or so," true to her words she quickly disappears out of the room, abandoning the tray of food, and we're alone again.

We laugh at what she must think. She caught us in the act with our foreheads touching, our faces flushed and our breathing loud. "I love you Butters," he says again and pulls me back in for another kiss.

Kenny McCormick. The guy who everyone said was bad news, the guy who I should stay away from, the guy who didn't care about anyone. They were all lies. Kenny McCormick was beautiful to me, he was kind and showed me things I had never dreamed of, and he helped me relax and saved me from myself. He was the one who showed how much he cared about me more than any other person. And that's why I love Kenny McCormick with all my heart.

xxx

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><p><strong>AN: It's finished! I want to thank you for reading my story and sticking with it until the end :) I'm quite proud of this story so it means a lot to see all of the followers and favourites! I'd love to hear any comments, critiques, or just general feelings about it, as I might do something similar in the future. <strong>

**I won't go into detail about the little elements I've woven into the writing (you're free to point anything out in reviews or over PM) but did you catch that Butters describing the hospital was reminiscent of Kenny describing the coffee shop on their first date, except it was the complete opposite which kind of foreshadowed the goodness of the relationship and then reflected on the negative things they overcame. Or something... I don't know, I'm not an English major .-. So yes, thanks once again! I'll go now :3**


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